Favoritism

"Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob." -Genesis 25:28 (ESV)

Isaac and Rebekah's family was one that clearly had its problems--like all of ours. Their twin sons are portrayed as battling between one another throughout most of their lives. I must state up front that the battling can not be completely blamed on the parents, because it is said that even in the womb they "struggled" within her. So God apparently had planned even from the beginning for these two brothers to be battle between one another.


But we see this rivalry play out in their lives as Jacob becomes a deceiver. He tricks his brother into selling his birthright. Jacob then later deceives his own father into blessing him instead of the true firstborn, Esau. What is terrible is that this plan was devised by his own mother, Rebekah! Furthermore, Esau is said to have "made life bitter" for his parents by marrying foreign women, and he responds to the stealing of his birthright by pledging to kill his brother. Both kids had their problems.

Their parents did not cause their rivalry, but they certainly did not help their children by creating an environment that demanded or taught equal love and respect. The parents themselves are said to have played favorites--one loving the hunter and the other loving the more mild son. Isaac in particular is said to have loved Esau "because he ate of his game." He loved because of a skill, because of something that his child provided him with.

This is not the proper love that we are to have for other human beings, let alone our own children. The only way to finish the sentence "we are to love because..." is with: because God first loved us, because it is the right thing to do, because all people are created in God's image. We are never to love because of traits, abilities, personalities, etc...So parents, the cure to favoritism is to learn to love your children simply because of their inherent dignity and worth as the creation of God--as a blessing He has given to you.

I am sure it is tempting at times to love--or at least pay more attention to--your children who are more similar to you or who you most naturally feel a "connection" with. But remember that you are teaching your children a lot about relationships and love by the way you relate to them. Doing your best to love and pay attention to your children equally will go a long way to demonstrating God's unconditional love to them and to developing peacefulness within your family.