Psalm 127:4--Arrow Making

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth. -Psalm 127:4

This verse calls for a few posts. :-)

At the beginning of the verse, Solomon simply says that children are "like arrows." Many have pointed out that arrows don't simply grow on trees. Warriors have to take twigs--or branches more likely--and diligently work to straighten, whittle, and sharpen pieces of wood they find. It's no accident that Solomon compares children to arrows.

When children arrive in our world, when they are graciously given to parents through birth or adoption, they are like raw gnarly pieces of wood. They have spiritual bends, weak spots, and knots. They are deeply flawed. And if left to themselves, they would be of little use to God's kingdom. They wouldn't even attach to a bow, let alone fly straight or far, or penetrate into any evil strongholds. They need to be worked on and undergo deep-seated change.

So as parents, we have a responsibility to do what we can to make our children useful for God's kingdom. (We must acknowledge of course that ultimately God is the one who will change our children and make them useful for His purposes.) We should whittle away sinful behavior through discipline and correction. We should sharpen them by equipping them with knowledge of God's Word. We should help make them strong internally in character and integrity by setting high expectations. We should make sure they "fly straight" by helping them develop a biblical worldview that helps them make godly decisions.

So let's take these crooked branches God gives us and do our part to turn them into straight and strong arrows that someday we can launch into the world on their own--to fly into the heart of our great enemy's kingdom.

Psalm 127:3--Who Do Your Children Belong To?

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward. -Psalm 127:3

Children are a heritage FROM THE LORD. How quickly as parents we are tempted to view children as ours rather than God's. When children are first born or adopted, we feel such a bond and connection with them; and we realize that we have been blessed by God--but this often does not last...When our son was born, I was in awe of how God had brought his life about. How he had transformed a single fertilized egg of one cell (having chosen long ago what DNA would come together in this incredible little person) into a baby who could scream, cry, breathe, eat, sleep, and grasp our fingers with his little hands. Life is a miracle; children are a gift. And that is without question even to the hardest of hearts. But do we really let this sink into our hearts as moms and dads?

Our son is still very young, and even still, I have felt my awe at God's power and presence in my son's life slowly grow cold. As we've gotten into the routine of diaper changing, bottle feeding, burping, playing, and nap-taking, it's easy to start to see him as ours--not God's. When he was in the womb, God was the sole party responsible for his development. But now it's Stephanie and I's responsibility--or so I'm tempted to think. I'm sure this gets harder as children get older. We think it is all up to us, that we are in charge, and we grow to be possessive of them.

But how would our parenting change if we were to remember constantly that our children are "a heritage FROM THE LORD"--that they are "a reward" from Him? What if we were just as aware of that with our teenagers as we were the day they were born? I think we would strive to have them honor God more than they honor us. His rules more than our rules. His desires more than our desires. We would take greater responsibility for their spiritual health and remember that our responsibility is to teach them to love their Creator more than it is to turn them into responsible American citizens. We would probably be less controlling and possessive of them.

The real test might come someday when our child decides to become a missionary and go to a far away land to share the gospel. Will we demand that as our child they stay close to home where they are "safe?" Or will we proudly support them as they honor their heavenly Father abroad?

What about when they get sick and suffer and possibly even die before we do? Will we shake our fist at God and demand that He answer us why He took our child? Or will we in time remember that our children are His first and foremost and that He loves them even more than we do, even when He lets them--and us--hurt?

Stephanie and I, each night before we tuck our son into bed, have developed a practice of saying, "Mommy and daddy love you very much, but we want you to know that Jesus loves you WAY more than we do." We want him from a very young age to know that ultimately he is God's more than he is ours.

So parents, today remember that your children are a gift "from the Lord." You have a responsibility to care for them and lead them, but they are God's more than they are yours.

Psalm 127:2--We Need Sleep!

"It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep." (ESV)

Let's keep trucking through this great psalm and see what this second verse can teach us about family life....

Life can get so overwhelming in our culture. As a young husband, father, and pastor, I have "risen early," gone "late to rest," and "ate the the bread of anxious toil." Why do I do those things? Why do we do those things?

It's not wrong in-and-of-itself to wake up super early or stay up super late or to work extra hard. It's the attitude of our hearts as we do those things that can become sinful. The word "anxious" sticks out to me in this verse. If our toil, extra efforts, and sleeplessness are driven by anxiety and by a desire to control outcomes or situations, then we have slipped into sinful and "vain" behaviors.

Our bodies need rest. But in our culture, we just ignore that need and pretend like we never tire. We convince ourselves that if we just woke up one hour earlier or stay up one hour later or put in a few more hours at work, we will finally get everything done that we should. We'll finally have made "enough" money. We'll finally have that to-do list completed. We'll be able to get that birthday present for our spouse or child. We'll be able to take that family vacation we've been dreaming of. We'll get that much-needed promotion. But what do we lose in the mean time?

We are distracted--or even absent--from our family.

We need to remind ourselves that sleep and rest are gifts from God. C.J. Mahaney recommends in his book Humility: "Before going to sleep (each night), receive this gift of sleep from God and acknowledge His purpose for sleep." You see, by making us as creatures who need sleep, God has given us a daily reminder that we are limited beings. Only He never sleeps and never tires. Only He is ultimately capable of providing for our families. When we work so hard and strain our bodies almost to exhaustion, we might think that we are honoring God by our efforts. But if we are doing it with an anxious heart that is convinced it is up to us (limited as we are), then we are actually doing the opposite. We are denying His provision and His oversight into our lives.

Anxiety can eat you alive. I speak from experience. When you are driven by a desire to control and fix situations and by the goal of crossing off an endless to-do list, you'll never be satisfied. You'll "eat the bread of anxious toil" indefinitely. So be reminded as a mother, father, husband, wife, and employee today that, as Mahaney has also said, "Only God gets His to-do list done each day." I'll leave you with a further thought of his...

"No matter how much planning, scheduling, and discipline is present in my life, I will never completely redeem the time. I am a finite creature, limited in what I can accomplish, and further limited by my sin. So it should surprise nobody that I leave to-dos undone each and every day. My joy is not derived from the flawless execution of my goals. My joy each day is derived from the person and work of Jesus Christ on the cross. Only God gets his to-do list done each day. I need the cross of Christ each day." -taken from his blog entry The To-Do Lists are Never Done