Don't Focus on the Fence

An author, whose book I'm reading right now, told a story about how his parents had forbidden him from going to a local pool hall as a child. But they had never explained to him why. So, he grew up with this "fence" built without really knowing why his parents had put it up. As far as he knew, playing pool was sinful. So when he grew up and saw godly men playing pool, he was confused and thought they were sinning too. He had never really been taught by his parents about their concern for the people who were at the pool hall and how they might have influenced their son. The author offers this advice to parents, which I'd like to share with you:

"I think my parents' pool hall fence was appropriate. But there is a lesson in my experience for all parents: Don't focus on the fence. If you erect a fence for your children--for example, in regard to certain movies or television programs--be sure to focus on the real issues, not the fence. Take time to explain and re-explain the reason for the fence.

"If you decide, as my parents did, that you don't want your children going to the local pool hall, explain why. Distinguish between playing the game itself--which has neither negative nor positive moral value--and the atmosphere you are trying to protect them from."
-Jerry Bridges in Transforming Grace (page 124)

So, establish boundaries for your children. But as best as you can, teach them why you've set up those fences. They might not agree, but at least they'll understand what's behind the rule and not fall into legalism about that issue (whether it's movies, music, friends, clothes, etc.). Get to the heart of it.

Loving the Way God Loves

"Many Christians grew up in homes where parental acceptance was based, to a large degree, on academic, athletic, musical, or perhaps some other standard of achievement. Often, in that kind of performance environment, they never quite felt as if they measured up to expectations, regardless of how successful they were. Then they transfer that sense of inadequacy to their relationship with God. They continually wonder, Is God pleased with me? Is He smiling on me with Fatherly favor?

"The answer to that question is an unqualified yes. God is smiling on you with Fatherly favor. He is pleased with you because He sees you as holy and without blemish in Christ. Do you want to talk about performance? Then consider that Jesus could say matter-of-factly and without pretentiousness, 'I always do what pleases him [the Father]' (John 8:29). When our father looks at us, He does not see our miserable performance. Instead, He sees the perfect performance of Jesus. And because of the perfect holiness of Jesus, He sees us as holy and without blemish."

-Jerry Bridges in Transforming Grace, pg. 104

Parents, let's remember God's gracious love for us--a love that is given not because we earn it or accomplish any good thing, but simply because He chooses to. And let's remember to love our kids in the same way. Let's not put conditions on our love and acceptance of them. We are modeling God's love to them--either well, or poorly. Let's make sure we do it well.

Bible Reading For Busy Moms

http://www.joshharris.com/2010/03/bible_reading_for_busy_moms.php

See this short post from a pastor/author I really respect:

How does a mother of young kids find time to read the Bible? My friend Ryan Kelly shares a helpful quote from Don Whitney who writes, "you may be in a situation that curtails many of your spiritual activities. You may be looking at many months or even years of such limitations. Do what you can. God does not love us more when we do more, nor less when we do less. He accepts us, not because of what we do for Him, but because of what He's done for us in Christ." I love the simplicity of that advice. Do what you can.

So busy moms--and dads--don't be discouraged by reading small amounts of Scripture, if that is legitimately all you are able to do. Help your spouse make some time to read and pray, even if it's just for a few minutes. And regardless of how much you're able to read, remember that God's love for you doesn't fluctuate based on the amount of Scripture you take in. It's helpful and important, but it's not a pre-requisite for God's approval. That was earned 100% on the cross by Christ.